Group Leader Training

THE AWKWARD SILENCE - After asking an open ended question to the group, there is usually an awkward silence while we wait for people to answer the question. The group leader MUST patiently endure the silence. If you think the silence is too long, wait another 30 seconds. If we answer our own questions, we kill discussion. Tips in dealing with it are:

• Own it: "I know the this pause is awkward. We can wait through it until someone is comfortable speaking up."
• Enlist an extrovert to help you by getting with them outside of the group.  
• Wait through it.  

DEAL WITH HEALTHY EXTROVERTS - Extroverts can dominate group discussion. Healthy extroverts have enough self-awareness to moderate themselves, allowing others to speak, and respond when you gently shut them down. Some tips in dealing with them are:

• "I just want the men to answer this question."
• "Only want people over the age of 30 to answer this question."
• Make a joke out of it - "Anyone can answer this question but Bob, Sue, or Harry."
• Talk to them outside of your group if needed.

USE HEALTHY EXTROVERTS - You can strategically use your healthy extroverts to start discussion. Prep them before the class and when you give a signal, have them speak up.

DRAW OUT YOUR INTROVERTS - Notice who does not speak up in your group and intentionally give them space. Tips:

• "Let's hear from someone who hasn't spoken as much."
• "Bob, we haven't heard from you yet. What do you think?"

DEAL WITH UNHEALTHY EXTROVERTS - Unhealthy extroverts lack self-awareness. They overshare, talk too much, or try to teach the class for you. If they aren't dealt with, they will suck the air out of the room while the rest of the group has to "endure" them droning on for 20 min. They will kill your group and people will stop coming. Tips in dealing with them are:  

• Talk to them outside of the class and ask them to just receive, not take over.
• When they start their 20 minute monologue, physically stand up if needed and raise your hand to draw attention away from them and to yourself. You may have to interrupt them.
• Talk to Jud, Erin or another grow group leader to generate ideas on how to deal with them / role play.

USE YOUR STUDENTS - People retain 50% of what is discussed, 70% what they practice and 90% of what they teach. Do creative things like assigning students homework. "Bob, why don't you lead us answering question #3 next week."

ARRANGE PHYSICAL SPACE - The physical space in which you meet is very important. Comfortable chairs in a home creates a more welcoming and informal environment that promotes fellowship and connection versus a sterile room in the church. Here are some tips:

• Arrange chairs in a circle or horseshoe so people can see one another
• Have comfortable seating
• Remove physical barriers such as sitting behind tables when possible
• Have music playing as people enter

You are the shepherd of your group. Groups are more than just dispensing information to students. They are places of where relationships are formed, content is delievered and community is created. Tips in creating community are:

• Intentionally schedule informal community building times outside of your normal group meeting time. These can be things like lunches after church, sitting around the firepit on Friday night, etc.  
• Delegate responsibilites to students such as collecting prayer concerns, taking photos, scheduling fellowship activites, etc.  
• Build a spreadsheet of birthdays, anniversaries, etc and celebrate them.
• Intentionally craft the physical arrangement of furniture / room to facilitate connection and discussion (comfy chairs in a horseshoe or circle, etc)

The HFGE questions are designed to connect someone in a life giving relationship with Jesus. They are:

1. Do you absolutely and completely know where you are going when you die? This is either a yes or no. There is not grey area and if someone has to talk themselves into a yes answer, the real answer is no.
2. How do you know this?
3. Have you had a crystal clear experience with Jesus in such that it has transformed your life completely?  
4. If you answered NO to either 1 or 3, do you have the courage to enter into a process and make that a yes or do you choose to stay where you are and hope it works out?